I'm in a much different head space than i was when i started this journal. I was just starting out. No clue of the journey I would go on, or rather the journey It would take me on.
I've noticed there a couple bad ways to make a painting. not enough contrast, wrong color selection, bad forms, bad lines... But there are unlimited ways to make a good painting. I say this not as a way of telling you how many way you can make a bad paintings, but rather hopefully inspire to make more ways of making a good painting.
I have a new theme is my work. Happiness. There is a brighter tone to my more recent works and i hope that it reflects my headspace while making them. I started writing a journal two years ago. Most of the things in it I would Never tell a living soul. But what it has forced me to do is become honest with where I'm at, what I'm Doing and possibly the most important, how I'm Feeling. I've discussed suicide, the feelings of a self labeled, never good enough dropout, and the life of an emerging artist.
We don't do this thing because we like it. It's not an easy path. I would have chosen something different if it was possible. We do this because its the only thing that silences that little voice in our heads long enough to finally hear our own thoughts. Many people use art for therapy. I never understood this, but it works for them so fine. So why were the di Vinci's and Michelanglo's insufferable dickheads. Why was de Kooning a alcoholic? why was Rothko Suicidal? Because that void can never and will never be filled fully. Maybe we don't know why we create, maybe we'll never know